Dealing with Death

I have been doing thinking lately, about death and dying. Not in a personal perspective, but of other who experience it. Sometimes people think I have a really detached view of it. I have lost people close to me, and I have seen plenty of my family and even friends pass away. I have been to many a funeral and I have seen plenty of things.

I have watched my best friend die, then seen her son die almost a decade later. I have seen my father pass on when he was headed for surgery in the morning. My grandmother, who was ready for a while, I watched her fade and die. I watched my husband's mother die. I have written obituaries, and eulogies. I have planned funerals, and I have been there for people to cry to, or talk to. I have written up rituals solely for funeral rites.

It's not a detached view of death, not at all. I just understand that unless it is a personal death, there are people who need to cry, people who need to remember things. There are people who need to be held, people who need who need to talk. There are people who will suddenly feel alone, and what they do not need is someone who they feel wasn't as close to the person, crying and at a loss, when they feel it is personal. People will feel weak and alone, they need someone who is not breaking down in tears while they are experiencing this loss.

I am not saying that others who knew the person will not feel the loss. Tho someone who is or was directly involved in the person's life, a family member, a close friend, a spouse. Those are the ones who need someone, they need help coping. They do not need someone who didn't know them as intimately taking it on as their own personal loss. It's not comforting for them in the least, as a matter of fact they may find it a bit insulting. These people do need a friend, someone to talk to who won't break down. These people need someone who can deal with it, to help them to deal with it.